When asked the general question on who or what was the biggest influence my friend Jasmine and my mother's answers seem to intertwine. They are completely different women with a similar goal; the care and love for their kids. Asking Jasmine what was her most influential person in her life she answered with her dance teacher. She realized that her dance teacher had the integrity and drive of a woman she actually wanted to be. She was not only an instructor but a student, a person who had as much homework as Jasmine but still handled stressful times with the gracefulness of someone who has their shit together. This was inspiring to Jasmine because she is a teen mom, she felt her life was over and all she had was to be only a mom. But, she realized that she can be a mom, a student, a lover, a sister and still realize that all things are temporary. Your life doesn't end with a child, it begins. Being a teen mom is something that is life changing and it's hard to come to terms with an actual little human came from your uterus; Jasmine had a set belief that there will still be partying and a "young" life. But, a letter posted on the Web caught Jasmine's eye and made her think. It basically told her that your life has changed, no more partying, no more doing all the fun things that "kids" do. You made an adult action so you will be an adult and give that child the best life they can get. That means, grinding and getting an education, having restless nights, so they can have restful nights and that time will come when you did party and missed important moments you could've seen by just doing your job. She follows this daily and realized that it's easy to be uneducated but she wants to show him the beauty of knowledge. Of course her son Anthony is the most important person in her life, he makes her better and he will never know that. When she heard his first cries she realized that there is purpose in this life and he is her world. Jasmine was basically crying, telling me the story of his birth and how they made eye-contact and she knew. She was instantly in-love.
My mother answered with a same concept; my mom was in the 12-step program 10 years ago and became wiser and more attuned to people around her. She was influenced by her counselor named Lynnette. She was this tough lady and yet again she had her shit together. Even though being an alcoholic came in the path of Lynnette's life, she realized it was never to late to change and become a better you, and find the true you that has been lost all these years. This gave my mom a clear vision of who she wanted to be, she wanted to be a person I, her daughter, can look up to a be influenced by like Lynnette did for her. My mom was greatly influenced by this little book given called The Four Agreements that was given to her by Lynnette. It states simple facts that humans have a hard time coming to terms with. It made her realize that in this universe, in this solar system, and in this planet she will never have the power to control other humans. There will be times people are assholes, you don't have to accept it, but you can wish them well and hope that the universe doesn't turn against them. Others people's problems are not yours and it's okay to not be involved. She uses this nearly everyday and it really helps to know these simple truths are what make her an awesome human. My mom told me I am the most important person in her life and of course I was surprised. I mean... I'm just me, ya know. She told me a story of the time I was 8 or 9 and she was leaving the house and I was watching her leave. She looked back and paused for a second, nothing but love, gratefulness, and pride entered her body and it made her realize she wanted/needed to be a better person for me. That resulted in her long process of being in the program. Ten years later she's my best friend. I understand why she did it; growing up you hope the adult at least have their life together and it did give a sense of security and respect as I was getting older. Glad to know I was the main reason for her betterment, because she's awesome!
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